What If?
by Kome-Kage-Sama
Summary: crackfic, a bunch of oneshot what if's for Naruto. chap. 1 :Sakura beats up Sasuke chap. 2: Lee beats Gaara ALL HAIL GAARA R
1. Early Trainie

I know my last story sucked but it was kinda like a very bad imitation of a fic. Me and a friend made up a while ago, anyways I hope this one's better

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or the emo farm

What if Sakura started training with Tsunade before Sasuke left?

Parenthesis are for actions

………………………………………………………………………………………

Sasuke: From this point on, new paths will start

Sakura: I… I love you more than anything! If you are by my side, I will make sure you will not regret it. I will make every day more enjoyable, and you will be happy! There's nothing I wouldn't do for you! That's why… Please take me with you… (cries)

Sasuke: After all this time, you're still annoying.

Sakura: (yells) Don't go!

Sasuke: (appears behind Sakura) Thank you. (hits Sakura trying to knock her out)

Sakura: (turns to face Sasuke with her eyes shadowed over)

Inner Sakura: What that bitch do?

Sasuke: Umm, Sakura? Why are you, umm you know, not knocked out?

Sakura: Tsunade was right, men are jerks! (A/N Sakura's pms'y ok) (punches Sasuke in the face)

Sasuke: (goes flying back into a conveniently placed tree) OOWWW

Sakura: (Grabs Sasuke by the ankles) you're coming back to the village ok!!!

Sasuke: (pounds fists on the ground like a hyper-active kid at toys r us) I DON' WANNA GO, I DON' WANNA GO

Sakura: Yes you do now shuddup (hits Sasuke lightly on leg)

Sasuke: hmp

spacespacespacespacespacespacespacespacespacespacespacespacespacespacespace

_Dear Orochimaru,_

_I'm sorry I couldn't come to the emo farm with you. I was attacked by a pissy pink haired man/girl? Anyways I still love you but I'm kinda doin' this Naruto kid okay, He's not emo but he smexy____ anyways I miss you___

_Lots of love and ass,_

_Sasuke_

Me: **I've got an idea for the next chapter in What If? In this chapter, Sasuke is hyper and has Kyuubi and Naruto is emo and has a fan club ( a special fan club.) Now, 2 questions, is this a good idea(as long as it's not like my other story's) and should naruto be gay in this chapter?(you know, goth/gay)**


	2. Winner Lee

YAY CHAPPIE 2!! Thanks for the good reviews so far I'll use your ideas ok.

For this chapter: What if Lee beat Gaara in the Chuunin exams? (thank you LameJokeGuy)

(actions)

_Jutsu and thoughts_

disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Eddsworld

Lee: GATE OF WOUND OPEN! GHAAAAAAAAA(chakra explodes into spiral around him)TAKE THIS! (slams Gaara into the air)

Gaara: (while his sand armors cracking Lee slams him around in the air hundreds of times before slamming him into the ground)

Lee: PRIMARY LOTUS!!

Gaara: (sand armor shatters leaving him defenseless) I WILL KILL YOU!!(insert Gaara stare of doom)

Sasuke: GAA-KUN!! ARE YOU HURT( jumps in front of Gaara) You Basturd _KATON GOUKAKYUU no JUTSU _!!

_  
_Gaara: DIE _SABAKU KYU _(sand and flames fuse together and turn to glass)

Lee: (kicks the glass and shatters it onto Sasuke and Gaara)

Sasuke: IT'S SNOWING (swallows the yellow glass and cuts his innards open and dies) A/N: owchy

Gaara: (one tiny piece of glass makes one centimeter long cut on his finger) WWHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAA I GOTS A BOO-BOO!! (turns into pouty chibi mode)

Chibi-Gaara: Temari-chan he gave me an owie I expect him to be dead soon.

Temari: _I can't kill that guy he's ssoo gay_ (_shudder_) _but I gotta distract him somehow… OH I know! _Hey Gaara, Sasuke's hurt.

Gaara: OH-NO my Emo-Muffincake (runs to Sasuke) oh whoa is me chicken-butt, who will cut himself while I lick the blood, who will bow down and call me his smexy master, who will let me eat turkey of their head , who will…

Everyone: (cuts Gaara off) WE GET IT!!

Chibi-Gaara: Temari I want a new Sasuke will you take me to Hot Topic?

Temari: _oh shit _umm, I heard they're out of Sasuke's, ok. _please don't kill me_

Chibi-Gaara: (angry) who told you this??:( $)!?

Temari: Umm, Kankuro, yea Kankuro told me _omg Kankuro's screwed_

Angry Chibi-Gaara: KANKURO!!!

Kankuro: yes little brother _omg I'm screwed_

Angry Chibi-Gaara: Kill The Messenger!!! (pulls out giant hammer)

Temari: Yea, Kill the Messenger _at least it's not me_

Gaara fan-club: OBEY GAARA… ATTACK!!!

Kankuro: AAAGGGHHH (runs for life)

Chibi-Gaara: Now that that's over, Temari, kill the tight-wearing homo.

Temari: uummm

Chibi-Gaara: I'm waiting.

Temari: How 'bout a cookie instead?

Chibi-Gaara: YaY Cookie!! Gimmie gimmie gimmie gimmie gimmie gimmie gimmie gimmie gimmie gimmie the coooookie!!!

Temari: Here you go (throws Gaara a cookie)

Chibi-Gaara: It's mine, all mine mwhahahaha! Me and my Cookie shall rule the world , as the almighty duo!!

Eventually the almighty duo successfully took over Sunakagure. It's not the world, but they agreed there are some good muffin shops around there. They spend their days singing this song:

Credits Credits Credits,

Watching all the credits,

Look at all those names go by,

Not as fun as eating pie,

Smoking weed will get you high,

Hit you on the head I hope you diiieee,

This story sucks so I'll say by.

**THE END OF THIS CHAPTER EXCEPT FOR MY AURTHOR COMMENTS**

So how was that LameJokeGuy let me know how it was compared to your thoughts ok. Also to Hyde n Phyc I'll probably use your idea next

R&R


	3. To the Gay Bar

Ok this is chap. 3, this what if comes from Hyde n Psyc

"What if Sasuke liked Naruto?"

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto (in **THIS **dimension)

(actions)

_Singing/Naruto's thoughts/flashback_

We meet our friend quickly coming out of his apartment wearing a black vest, orange leather straps, a white open front jacket, and random metal chains. He wanted to hurry before Sasuke tried to pull his pants of in an alley or something like that. He was almost half way there when, it happened. Sasuke jumped out of nowhere wearing weird purple make-up and has two Uchiha fans on his chest. He started talking in a REALY gay voice…

Sasuke: omg Naru-kun, I just got back from Hot Topic and they have clones of me and Gaara!! Then the store clerk saw me and started yelling "Prototype 2234 has escaped call the Emo Rangers!! _Go-Go Emo Rangers" _(A/N I didn't invent the emo rangers some other author did) So I just ran in to aeropostale and they started melting but they didn't finish hmp(pout)

Naruto: Yeah, sure, he-he. I'm gonna go now… (tries to escape)

Sasuke: Wait, I wanted to ask you something.

Naruto: Fine what is it.

Sasuke: _Dude, I wanna take you to gay bar,_

_I wanna take you to a gay bar,_

_I wanna take you to a gay bar gay bar let's go! _(A/N I love dat song)

Naruto: NNNOOOO!!!!(runs the rest of the way to the ramen place) two beef ramen please.

Sasuke: (Jumps out from behind the counter) _I've got something to put in you.._

Naruto: _oh shit _Sasuke why do I have to go to the gay bar with you?

Sasuke: 'Cause I asked every-one else already.

Naruto: everyone?

Sasuke: Kakashi, Gaara, Neji, Kiba, Choji, Shikimaru, Shino, and Asuma

Naruto: o.0

Sasuke: uummm I WANNA BE YOUR BABY FADER

Naruto: aagghhh

Sasuke: Just kidding

Naruto: phew (sigh of relief)

Sasuke: LOVE ME AND MY MAKE-UP (turns into Sasuke chibi) FAN-GIRL ARMY SUMMON!!! (army of fan-girls appear as he pulls out cupids bow and arrow) Make him love me!!!!

Now, the fan-girls are dumb, but I don't think that they'll go for that.

Fan-Girls: Help Sasuke-kun

I spoke too soon.

Naruto: How'd you get cupid's bow and arrow?

Sasuke: I showed him a good time.

Flashback:

_Sasuke: If you give me your bow and arrow I'll show you a good time._

_Cupid: o.k. then here(gives Sasuke bow and arrow)_

_Sasuke: o.k. then, now put the blindfold on as we teleport(cupid puts on the blindfold as Sasuke teleports them) Ready, now take of the blindfold._

_Cupid: (acting like Stewie from Family Guy) Disney World, Disney World, Disney World, Disney World, Disney World, Disney World, Disney World, Disney World, Disney World, Disney World, Disney World, Disney World, Disney World, Disney World, Disney World!!!!_

End Flashback

Sasuke: Now take this (shoots Naruto with the arrow)

Naruto: Hey that's my Sasuke evil women!! (kills fan-girls)

Sasuke and Naruto: We'll be together forever!XD

The next day Sasuke was arrested by the Emo Rangers. Apparently he was a defected model. The regular ones are strait, friendlier, and gothic. After this situation we can all agree on one thing, don't fuck with the Emo Rangers.

**BY-BY**

ME:I don't think that was as good as the last chapter let me know ok. Also to Hyde n Psyc I couldn't think of anything good for Sakura so I just made it so Sasuke like Naruto. For your other idea I'll use it later in the story ok.


End file.
